It never occurred to me that my ex wouldn't pay his court ordered child support amount. But, that's what happened. My ex has been employed the entire time. He's never paid the full amount. Never! He hasn't even provided the health coverage for our son as ordered. To make matters worse, he stopped communicating with our son for an entire month after we went to court. (Check out this post to see his cruel response to the child support order.) I had no idea my ex would behave like this. You can't predict how someone will react in a situation.
I thought filing for child support would force him to be accountable for his actions. Instead, he's working even harder to avoid his parenting responsibilities altogether. He's not providing the physical or emotional support either. Money means more to him than his own flesh and blood. He is determined to keep his money and time to himself. What a shame.
Dealing with my ex's antics has been an emotional journey. I've had to release the disgust and anger repeatedly, in order to forgive him. Forgiveness is for me, not him. Every time I forgive him the less power he has over me. His nonsense doesn't affect me as much. I really feel sorry for him. He is so self-absorbed and in so much emotional pain that he can't handle the unconditional love from his son. He may think that he's hurting me, but in the end he's only hurting himself. That makes for a lonely life.
Our son is healthy, happy, loving, funny, and smart. My ex may not be doing his part, but my son and I aren't lacking anything. If I had it to do over again, I would still file for child support. He needs to become responsible and accountable for his actions. Hopefully, in time he will.
Leave a comment and let me know about your experience after filing for child support.
Sarah Aderson, Leg-a-SHE Strategist and author of the forthcoming book The Single Mom Bliss Blueprint: 7 Steps to Activate the Superpower in Your Heart, empowers single moms to live without limits and create the life they desire. She's also the host and founder of the Mom-In-Chief Lounge...a Free weekly empowerment session for busy single moms.
Learn more about Sarah's work at www.expandyourheart.org
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