When learning English grammar, early on we learn that adding -er to the end of a word means more and is used for comparisons. For example, Smart--->Smarter, Weak--->Weaker. You get the idea. This basic concept was taught to us as toddlers and is used throughout our lives. Along the way it changes from something innocent to harmful.
I was talking to a friend visiting from Italy recently about the tragic death of bullied teen Amanda
Todd. She essentially said that bullying is an American thing. We talked about the differences between the Italian and American school systems. In Italy, there's no such thing as special education and gifted programs. Students of all levels sit beside one another in the same classroom. Also, students rarely earn the highest possible points even if they answer all of the
questions correctly. Whenever my friend earned a low grade her teacher stressed that her grade didn't define her.
In the U.S. it's quite different. We are classified through placement tests, our GPA, and so much more. I call the act of comparing ourselves with others the -er effect. The -er effect is drilled in our heads from a young age. My son is 3 and he knows bigger, smaller, heavier, lighter, etc. It's all abstract now, but I fear that once he enters the school system he will experience the pain of the -er effect. Will he think he's smarter, faster, poorer than someone else? The answer is yes, he may indeed. That's where I come in. I will tell him that there is no such thing as more or less. -er should be use with things but not people. Having more of something doesn't equal better or superior. We are all the same. He's not any better or worse than another person.
We compare ourselves, our children, and our possessions to others. The voice in our head tells us that we don't quite measure up. The voice is wrong. Don't listen to it. The -er effect can prevent you from fulfilling your purpose. We're all exactly who we are supposed to be. When you feel a twinge of negativity or inadequacy, acknowledge it and immediately think of something positive. It will feel unnatural in the beginning. The -er effect will diminish over time.
Americans can learn a lot from Europeans and vice versa. What an amazing world this would be if we looked for similarities instead of differences. Wars start because of differences. Hate thrives on differences. Bullying occurs because of differences. The political polls say that the nation is split between President Obama and Governor Romney. At the core we all want the same things. We want the best for our children. We want an opportunity to achieve our dreams. We want to be happy. We want love. The next time you use an -er...Pause a moment and look at that person as if they were you.
I was talking to a friend visiting from Italy recently about the tragic death of bullied teen Amanda
Todd. She essentially said that bullying is an American thing. We talked about the differences between the Italian and American school systems. In Italy, there's no such thing as special education and gifted programs. Students of all levels sit beside one another in the same classroom. Also, students rarely earn the highest possible points even if they answer all of the
questions correctly. Whenever my friend earned a low grade her teacher stressed that her grade didn't define her.
In the U.S. it's quite different. We are classified through placement tests, our GPA, and so much more. I call the act of comparing ourselves with others the -er effect. The -er effect is drilled in our heads from a young age. My son is 3 and he knows bigger, smaller, heavier, lighter, etc. It's all abstract now, but I fear that once he enters the school system he will experience the pain of the -er effect. Will he think he's smarter, faster, poorer than someone else? The answer is yes, he may indeed. That's where I come in. I will tell him that there is no such thing as more or less. -er should be use with things but not people. Having more of something doesn't equal better or superior. We are all the same. He's not any better or worse than another person.
We compare ourselves, our children, and our possessions to others. The voice in our head tells us that we don't quite measure up. The voice is wrong. Don't listen to it. The -er effect can prevent you from fulfilling your purpose. We're all exactly who we are supposed to be. When you feel a twinge of negativity or inadequacy, acknowledge it and immediately think of something positive. It will feel unnatural in the beginning. The -er effect will diminish over time.
Americans can learn a lot from Europeans and vice versa. What an amazing world this would be if we looked for similarities instead of differences. Wars start because of differences. Hate thrives on differences. Bullying occurs because of differences. The political polls say that the nation is split between President Obama and Governor Romney. At the core we all want the same things. We want the best for our children. We want an opportunity to achieve our dreams. We want to be happy. We want love. The next time you use an -er...Pause a moment and look at that person as if they were you.
