I read recently that most people fear public speaking more than death, spiders, or anything else. At one time I was afraid to speak in public. My hands used to start sweating and my body temperature would rise at the mere mention of me having to speak in front of an audience. I found that the more I practiced, then the more confident I became. I was really afraid of looking stupid. As long as I knew what I was talking about, my anxiety lessened. My fear of public speaking ended up being much easier to overcome than my biggest fear.
My biggest fear was hiding in plain sight. It was a carefully camouflaged
10-ft gorilla. Subtle messages were running in my mind. I had no idea that I could ever be afraid of something -perceived by many- as the greatest gift of all. My realization was a shock and emancipation simultaneously.
More than anything in the world -snakes, spiders, plane crashes, death-
I was afraid of LOVE.
Sounds crazy right? That's what I thought at first before I started connecting the dots. I love everything about love (or so I believed). When I love, I love hard and I love fully. I view love as an amazing gift. Yet, the message looping in my mind was that love was dangerous - BEWARE!
My father wasn't around- REJECTION & ABANDONMENT. My identity was stolen by a loved one - UNTRUSTWORTHY & DECEIT. Most of my serious relationships ended with my boyfriend cheating - BETRAYAL. You see, I'd been telling myself that everyone I love hurts me. I conditioned my mind and body to view love as a threat to my survival. They believed what I told them and reacted accordingly.
After each experience I trained my mind to associate love with hurt more and more. I blocked the direct line from my heart to my brain. One error in judgement by my loved ones erased all of the times of fun, laughter, and joy - in a split second. My mind drowned out my heart. I would tell myself that I was only dating and that I didn't want anything serious. I didn't let people get too close to me and if they did - I pushed them away. I wore a mask. I behaved one way with acquaintances and another way with friends. I remember when my friends and I would go out - UNAPPROACHABLE oozed from my pores. I was so afraid of love because I equated it with pain. I didn't even want to give love any point of entry.
I built a fortress around my heart to keep it from telling my mind the truth. As strong as the walls around my heart were - my heart was stronger. It was full of love and it wanted to share its beauty with others. LOVE BROKE THROUGH AND BROKE DOWN EVERY BARRIER. It cleared the blockages and made me unlearn. The truth is everyone I love DOES NOT hurt me. Everyone in my life loves me the best way they know how. Fear can be turned into love, but they cannot co-exist in the same time moment.
After shining light on my greatest fear, I now know that love is beautiful, kind, forgiving, compassionate, patient, light, and true. My heart is ultimately MY responsibility. I have to love me. In order to be loved, I must give love wholeheartedly and freely.
What limiting beliefs and behaviors are holding you back? What are you really and truly afraid of?
My biggest fear was hiding in plain sight. It was a carefully camouflaged
10-ft gorilla. Subtle messages were running in my mind. I had no idea that I could ever be afraid of something -perceived by many- as the greatest gift of all. My realization was a shock and emancipation simultaneously.
More than anything in the world -snakes, spiders, plane crashes, death-
I was afraid of LOVE.
Sounds crazy right? That's what I thought at first before I started connecting the dots. I love everything about love (or so I believed). When I love, I love hard and I love fully. I view love as an amazing gift. Yet, the message looping in my mind was that love was dangerous - BEWARE!
My father wasn't around- REJECTION & ABANDONMENT. My identity was stolen by a loved one - UNTRUSTWORTHY & DECEIT. Most of my serious relationships ended with my boyfriend cheating - BETRAYAL. You see, I'd been telling myself that everyone I love hurts me. I conditioned my mind and body to view love as a threat to my survival. They believed what I told them and reacted accordingly.
After each experience I trained my mind to associate love with hurt more and more. I blocked the direct line from my heart to my brain. One error in judgement by my loved ones erased all of the times of fun, laughter, and joy - in a split second. My mind drowned out my heart. I would tell myself that I was only dating and that I didn't want anything serious. I didn't let people get too close to me and if they did - I pushed them away. I wore a mask. I behaved one way with acquaintances and another way with friends. I remember when my friends and I would go out - UNAPPROACHABLE oozed from my pores. I was so afraid of love because I equated it with pain. I didn't even want to give love any point of entry.
I built a fortress around my heart to keep it from telling my mind the truth. As strong as the walls around my heart were - my heart was stronger. It was full of love and it wanted to share its beauty with others. LOVE BROKE THROUGH AND BROKE DOWN EVERY BARRIER. It cleared the blockages and made me unlearn. The truth is everyone I love DOES NOT hurt me. Everyone in my life loves me the best way they know how. Fear can be turned into love, but they cannot co-exist in the same time moment.
After shining light on my greatest fear, I now know that love is beautiful, kind, forgiving, compassionate, patient, light, and true. My heart is ultimately MY responsibility. I have to love me. In order to be loved, I must give love wholeheartedly and freely.
What limiting beliefs and behaviors are holding you back? What are you really and truly afraid of?
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Sarah Aderson, speaker, Leg-a-SHE Strategist, and author of the forthcoming book The Single Mompreneur Bliss Blueprint: 7 Steps to Activate the Superpower in Your Heart, empowers women entrepreneurs to charge what they're worth so they can leave a legacy not only for their family, but the world. Sarah transforms your business into an empire. She's also the host and founder of the Mom-In-Chief Lounge...a Free weekly empowerment session for busy single moms.
Learn more about Sarah's work at www.expandyourheart.org
Get Free weekly training from renowned experts at www.mominchieflounge.com
Sarah Aderson, speaker, Leg-a-SHE Strategist, and author of the forthcoming book The Single Mompreneur Bliss Blueprint: 7 Steps to Activate the Superpower in Your Heart, empowers women entrepreneurs to charge what they're worth so they can leave a legacy not only for their family, but the world. Sarah transforms your business into an empire. She's also the host and founder of the Mom-In-Chief Lounge...a Free weekly empowerment session for busy single moms.
Learn more about Sarah's work at www.expandyourheart.org
Get Free weekly training from renowned experts at www.mominchieflounge.com
